Oh God, You Found it...

Listen, our feelings about Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales are... unfavorable, to say the least. We were hoping to find something great hidden within this later entry to create a proper recut but unfortunately that just didn't happen. Now it's perfectly alright if you enjoyed Pirates 5 (the last thing we want to do is ruin someone's Pirates fun). But in our view, the spirit of the Pirates films we loved and the respect for the franchise's greatest characters was out the window on this one, so we made the (very easy) decision to exclude this film from The Sparrow Cut. On Stranger Tides did a pretty great job of wrapping up the arcs for Jack, Gibbs and Barbosa in a way that felt faithful to their original characters. So, ye who venture down this path, be warned: The Sparrow Cut ends with On Stranger Tides.   THIS IS NOT PIRATES CANON 

THE DRUNK SPARROW

 The thing is, while Zak was perfectly fine (if not eager) to cast aside this regrettable Pirates entry, Devon just couldn't stop at On Stranger Tides and had to make SOMETHING out of it. That's how we got to The Drunk Sparrow, an alcohol fueled, blackout ridden mess of a short movie (22 minutes). Practically all semblance of a coherent plot has been removed as we follow Jack on his worst adventure to date that even he barely remembers! Also, it's all sepia toned.

Our Runtime: 22m

Theatrical Runtime: 2h 33m

DOWNLOAD: 1080p